I don't tell our girls about the fact that we've been trying to conceive. I don't exactly hide it, but I also don't want them asking questions that I don't have answers to for them. My oldest knows that I was moved by her speech and that I am now talking about St. Colette a lot.
In the car on the way to school, she asked me why. I explained that she is the patron saint of expectant mothers and those longing to conceive. Since Baba (DH) and I want to have more children, St. Colette can pray for us too. In her innocence, she responded, "so, you're longing to conceive, Momma?"
YES, my love, I am.
Hearing the words from her mouth just made me sad. Yes, we are longing and waiting...and it is not easy! Of course I didn't share these things with her. She was happy to prattle along about being an "even bigger" big sister and her joy was beautiful. That was yesterday and I haven't shaken the sadness. It comes and goes...the longing...but tonight it has come again and that is always hard.
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