My new friend, St. Colette

I have been tongue tied and afraid to write this blog. My previous strength of spirit lost in the emotional battle I have with myself carrying this cross. I truly feel the pain of the women in the Bible who were shamed by their infertility. I know that no one else would put this on me, yet when I am surrounded by so many for whom this comes so easy, I can not help but feel embarrassed that we have been left out...

This week, I was emboldened though. This is an amazing story of God reaching out to me and comforting me in His kindness. It is so easy to feel alone in this journey, but I know that God has a plan. This may seem trite until you read my story!

First, a bit of background. As Catholics, we believe in the Communion of Saints...that those who have died and are in Heaven are just as interested in our salvation as we are. That they can (and do) pray to God on our behalf. From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

957 Communion with the saints. "It is not merely by the title of example that we cherish the memory of those in heaven; we seek, rather, that by this devotion to the exercise of fraternal charity the union of the whole Church in the Spirit may be strengthened. Exactly as Christian communion among our fellow pilgrims brings us closer to Christ, so our communion with the saints joins us to Christ, from whom as from its fountain and head issues all grace, and the life of the People of God itself":

We worship Christ as God's Son; we love the martyrs as the Lord's disciples and imitators, and rightly so because of their matchless devotion towards their king and master. May we also be their companions and fellow disciples!

While there have been saints throughout my life that I have felt an affection for, this is the first time that I believe a saint has sought me out.

Every year, my children's school celebrates All Saints Day. Each child chooses a saint, dresses up like that saint, and says a speech in front of the entire school about that saint. In anticipation of this event, my girls and I had picked out who they wanted to be. I had encouraged my oldest in particular to pick an Eastern saint to show our faith. We had a plan. (so I guess I should have known better!)

When Grace returned home from school, she told me that she had to change her saint. While I didn't show it to her, I was thoroughly disappointed! To top it off, it was a saint I had never even heard of, St. Colette. Committed to helping her with the project, we began our research. As I learned more about St. Colette's resolve and devotion to God, I grew more and more impressed with her life, but still, had no real connection with her.

On the last night of putting my daughter's speech together, we had to look up what St. Colette is the patron saint of. I lazily got on the computer and "googled" the query. Turns out, St. Colette is the patron saint of those longing to conceive and expectant mothers. I couldn't believe it as I read it. My daughter and I both had no idea who this saint was (nor does her teacher know of our struggles).

I am so filled with hope and joy that this woman of God has reached out to me in this time. I look forward to getting to know her better. What a good God we have that He sent me this small comfort on one of the hardest weeks of the cycle. What a merciful God to show a friend to me as I anticipate the sadness of another month with no baby. I am blessed.

St. Colette, pray for us.